Webmistress and sole proprietor
J. A. Stroud a.k.a. GlassPoet.
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Have you ever wondered what fascination online chat has for the married person? I mean, what exactly are they looking for? Some chat from their work place and some chat with their mate in the same household; unaware of what is going on under the very nose. Is it the thrill of the forbidden? Are they that lonely and unhappy in their relationships? Is this a way for them to be unfaithful, without actually being unfaithful? Do they rationalize, in their mind, that if it's all kept to words on a screen, that they haven't cheated on their mate?
It's something that has always perplexed me. I'm single, I have no commitments in my life. I don't share my living space with another, so what I do online, whatever I choose that to be, I owe no one but myself. As long as I never intentionally do anything to harm another, I feel that I am free to do as I wish.
Should I offer the married ones the same courtesy? The same respect? Probably, but I can't. There is this moral indignation that rises up in me whenever I get a post from a married man, whether he is just looking for conversation or cybersex. I want to lash out at him, ask him why he is online and not spending his time with his mate or his children.
I will admit, I have spent far too many hours in chat with these men. I've listened to them talk about their lives, their jobs ... I even had one man ask me why I never wanted to know personal things about him. Well, gee ... think! If I do become that involved, then I am as guilty as they are, or should be.
Perhaps my morals have no place on the NET ... yes, yes ... I do have morals! I may try to never judge, but I do have morals. I have had married men that want to meet me for lunch. "Just to talk," they say. Yet when I ask if the wife will be joining us or if she will even be aware of this luncheon engagement, of course the answer is always, "No."
I wonder what she would think, how she would feel, if she knew what her husband was up to. I wonder, if their relationship is so poor, why doesn't he use the time he spends surfing online for females, on fixing the problems at home. They seem to cringe at the idea of shaking up their little comfort zones. Of making changes in their lives that could, quite possibly, result in some personal happiness for all involved.
I know there are married women here doing the same thing as the men. Men and women who share lives in a home, but don't share that deepest part of themselves. The part that has needs and wants, desires and even fears.
I'm sure they can all rationalize what they do, why they do it. I'm not saying they all chat in the hope of finding titillating conversation, but ... as often as I have seen it start out in some innocent banter, the end result always seems to be sexual.
It does make me glad to be single in this techno-age. I'd hate to think that I or my mate would be online seeking to meet a need here that isn't being met at home, for whatever reason. Yet again, now that I know the score here, I'd be damn sure I took care of business at home!
Just one gal's opinion.